In honor of this being my first post on this particular blog, I will take a moment to explain my blogging journey. I wrote my first blog post way back in 2006. Yes, 2006! I can’t believe it’s been eight years! I couldn’t pass up the newest craze and venue to share stories and photographs of my children with close family and friends. A writer at heart, I took the opportunity to share deeper things. Through time, blogging morphed into a way to socialize with like-minded scrapbookers, friends I still engage with to this day. What a blessing those friendships have been to me. After I began homeschooling, however, blogging became more of a chore but I made my best attempt. Soon, I had to share a random photograph or review books as the only way to maintain my blog! The very last post on my blog is a book review and not a very good one at that. My favorite author, Laura Frantz, deserved more than what I was able to write at the time. I’ve experienced guilt for the posts I’ve written poorly and the posts I’ve not written at all!!!
This past year, I’ve struggled with various health issues, including insomnia. Who knew that hair loss, dizziness, and lack of clarity were side effects? These things were (and still are) issues for me. Blogging is a challenge. How can I write meaningful things if I can’t connect the dots in my own mind? Truly, I am more comfortable in my own little world of fiction writing. Blogging hasn’t always been a challenge for me and I pray that someday that ease returns.
Now, I won’t be sharing my old blogs publicly but if you would like a taste of my past, I will share if asked. The only way I am inclined to try my hand at blogging again is if I begin anew…so here we are. So here YOU are, with a writer of fiction, not inspirational pieces. Some days, my brain doesn’t cooperate with me and I succumb to a fibromyalgia fog. Bear with me, friends. I am apt to share a photograph of my children and brief devotionals and longer posts concerning what God has taught me within the valleys and shadows of life.
Yes, here we are…from His shadowlands, where shadow meets light. Let me explain…
I’ll tell you a little secret. My other two blogs and their titles were a little more optimistic in their essence…this one is rooted in the dark places, where God has shown me more than in those brilliant times of my life. I feel strongly that this is to be my blog name and I will take comfort in God’s leading. I stand confident! I love what I came across today in my Bible, a note by C.S. Lewis:
“The shadows have indicated…something more about the light.”
What have we learned about the Lord by being in the shadows? Endurance? Long-suffering? Patience? Hope? I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve learned any of those things lounging in the sand beside beautiful, calm waters and under a brilliant sun. After my daughter was born a mere eleven years ago, I began traveling the road of post-partum depression and up until about a year ago, took medication. This was supposed to be the happiest time of my life, right? Having a child, then another, and another. Except, I can’t even remember the first six months of Ella’s life. I don’t recall those minute details a new mom is supposed to remember. I passed on library trips and various “mom and me” classes because I couldn’t get with it. I could say more but I think I will share the rest for another time. My point is this…I feel the Lord’s presence most when I can’t see Him beside me.
It is the still, small voice. The hand at the small of my back guiding me. The loving arms carrying me through the valley and up the mountain. He never abandons, never deceives, never lacks.
When light is hidden but secrets shine in their own peculiar way…where we leave despair and depression…where we strain our fingers reaching towards fragments of light, desperate with each breath…those are shadows.
But how do we see God when we seem so firmly planted in the dark? The shadows cannot rid themselves of the Lord. He made them just as He created the light. He walks beside me, holds my hand, and whispers peace. As I continue my blogging journey, I pray my feeble words will do what the Lord desires them to do. I give my words and this blog over to Him, every step of the way.